Category: Media

Lena Dunham's Representations of Mental Illness

00Anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Featured news, Health, Media, Obessive-Compulsive Disorder, OCD, Self-Esteem March, 17
Karolina Reis on Flickr

Source: Karolina Reis on Flickr

Media portrayals of mental illness are often controversial and have been criticized for inaccurate stereotypical depiction.

But more recently viewers have seen a notable shift towards more accurate representations. Writers, producers, and actors are using their own experiences to create more authentic characters and situations.

The controversial television series Girls on HBO leads the way.

Lena Dunham –actress, writer, director, and executive producer of Girls– stars as the show’s protagonist Hannah Horvath, who struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Through her character, Dunham conveys her own personal journey, enabling viewers to observe genuine symptoms of the illness.

Dunham was diagnosed with OCD around age 9. In an excerpt from her new book, she discusses the experience of intrusive thoughts:

“I am afraid of everything. The list of things that keep me up at night includes but is not limited to: appendicitis, typhoid, leprosy, unclean meat, foods I haven’t seen emerge from their packaging, foods my mother hasn’t tasted first so that if we die we die together, homeless people, headaches, rape, kidnapping, milk, the subway, sleep.”

As a public figure, Dunham feels a responsibility to discuss her disorder openly. She believes this approach helps people better relate to those who live with mental illness.

Researchers Joachim Kimmerle and Ulrike Cress explored this in an article published in the Journal of Community Psychology. Their study demonstrated that we can learn about mental illness from fictional shows when the information is accurately presented, highlighting how there can be many useful and creative ways to disseminate knowledge in mental health.

However, research by Nicole Mossing Caputo, a marketing and public relation specialist, and Donna Rouner, who has her PhD in mass communication, at Colorado State University found that when viewers don’t relate to the storyline or don’t form an emotional bond with a character, social stigmas tend to persist.

When a link to a storyline is successful or an emotional bond is formed, viewers become less critical and adopt the protagonists’ perspective and understand their struggle. Connections to narratives and characters like Hannah Horvath help battle misconceptions.

Another show, Parenthood, candidly explores the struggle of living with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum). Like Dunham, the show’s creator Jason Katims uses his own experience of raising a son with Asperger’s to connect with viewers on issues surrounding mental illness.

Dunham’s representation of OCD on television has increased public discussionaround mental health. It has increased the visibility of various mental-health communities and has helped pave the way for other shows to do the same.

In a Psychology Today article, Jeff Szymanski, Executive Director of the International OCD Foundation, speaks to this progress:

“Lena did a service not only to herself by letting the world ‘see’ what the struggle looks like, but to the entire OCD community at large by showing some of the pain, stigma, and struggle any person with mental health issues has to endure.”

And many are taking notice.

Shortly after Girls first aired, Allison Dotson—an OCD sufferer herself—wrote an articlefor the Huffington Post explaining how the depiction of Hannah on Girls has helped fight stereotypical portrayals of her disorder:

“As someone with OCD, I find it refreshing to see this often misunderstood illness portrayed in a realistic way on an acclaimed television show. Just as Hannah herself resists typical far-fetched sitcom stereotypes — she’s not model thin, she struggles with her finances and her career choices, and she often finds herself in believable awkward situations — her OCD symptoms are presented in a way that resists the low-hanging fruit of a kooky character most of us never encounter in our day-to-day routine.”

– Alyssa Carvajal, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

–Chief Editor: Robert T. MullerThe Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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Failed Mental Health App Highlights Pitfalls of Social Media

00Depression, Featured news, Health, Media, Social Networking, Stress, Suicide July, 16

Source: Jayson Lorenzen on Flickr

On October 29, 2014, The Samaritans—a suicide-prevention organization in the United Kingdom—launched an app for Twitter called Samaritans Radar. Its purpose: to detect alarming, depressive, and suicidal tweets to help prevent suicide. Less than a week later, the app was suspended due to public outcry over privacy concerns.

Social media are being used increasingly for marketing and advertising, with privacy a growing issue. Many marketing apps, like Hootsuite, track users’ social media posts in fairly covert ways. Yet, when social media pits privacy against mental health, ethical conflicts are concerning.

Traditionally in mental healthcare, there are few reasons to break confidentiality between client and therapist, such as harm to self or others.

The Samaritans Radar app worked by tracking tweets from every account the individual follows on Twitter. If alarming content was found—ranging from “I’m tired of being alone.” to “Feeling sad.”—the app would notify the user by email. Along with the email, came a link to the flagged tweet, as well as suicide intervention and prevention resources that the individual could provide to the writer of the alarming content.

At the launch of the app, the organization said that:

“Samaritans Radar turns your social net into a safety net by flagging potentially worrying tweets from friends, that you may have missed, giving you the option to reach out and support them.”

The app was quickly criticized for allowing users to track people’s tweets without their awareness or consent. The Samaritans replied by highlighting that everything posted on Twitter and all the information the app uses was public, and that it was up to the app’s user to decide whether they wanted to respond to any particular tweet.

Adrian Short, who started a petition to shut down Samaritans Radar, stated that it “breaches people’s privacy by collecting, processing, and sharing sensitive information about their emotional and mental health status.”

He also noted that the app may be used by less-than-scrupulous individuals for all sorts of purposes, not just helping individuals overcome mental health issues.

The Samaritans addressed these concerns by launching a “white list,” where people could sign up if they wanted to deny the app access to tracking their account. Many did not see this as a solution since opting out would require people to be aware of the app’s existence, leaving privacy in jeopardy.

But the problem that the app was trying to address is not trivial. In the UK, where the Samaritans are based, suicide is the leading cause of death among males under the age of 35. A free mobile app could be an easily accessible way to reach out to people who are alone and lacking other forms of support.

As one of the few supporters of the app, Hannah Jane Parkinson wrote for the Guardian:

“It is estimated that 9.6% of young people aged 5-16 have a clinically recognised mental health condition. Anything that helps to better this situation is great, and particularly as it is crucial to catch mental ill health early on.”

Yet as Adrian Short and others pointed out, this same easy access also poses potential threats. Internet bullying is common, especially among vulnerable users that Samaritans Radar targeted. The app could therefore be used for nefarious purposes.

“The app makes people more vulnerable online. While this could be used legitimately by a friend to offer help, it also gives stalkers and bullies and opportunity to increase their levels of abuse at a time when their targets are especially down,” says Adrian Short.

The app was an attempt to reach out to people in need of emotional support and to raise awareness about mental health using new media. But it highlighted the potential pitfalls of such platforms for dealing with mental health concerns. While the incidence of mental health problems is concerning, putting peoples’ mental health into the hands of anyone with access to a smartphone is naïve.

Perhaps this unsuccessful launch did successfully show that a greater understanding of social media users and platforms is needed before apps like Samaritan Radar can become commonplace.

– Essi Numminen, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. MullerThe Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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Mental Health Initiatives for Athletes Still Lacking

00Depression, Featured news, Health, Media, Sport and Competition, Teamwork, Therapy May, 16

Source: Charis Tsevis on Flickr

Canadian NHL teams’—including the Toronto Maple Leafs—third annual Hockey Talks was a month-long initiative to discuss mental health issues and treatment. Athletes and mental health professionals gathered to discuss the stigma and stereotypes associated with mental illness and disability.

One stereotype pertains to professional athletes themselves. The suicide of Toronto-born OHL player Terry Trafford and the suicides of other players in the NHL, as well as retired NHL goaltender Clint Malaschuk’s recovery after his battle with depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, and alcoholism, show that even professional athletes are not immune to mental illness.

Research by Lynette Hughes and Gerard Leavey at the Northern Ireland Association of Mental Health in Belfast, Northern Ireland, shows that athletes may be more vulnerable to developing mental illness than the general population. Results from their studies show that increased risk stems from pressure to perform, and from the variability in healthcare and diagnostic standards between sports psychologists, who are routinely employed by professional sports federations to work with players. But sports psychologists often target only those issues that will improve athletic performance, not overall mental health.

Alan Goldberg, a sport psychology consultant for the University of Connecticut (UConn), says that athletes often work with professionals to overcome problems on the field. Based on his work with the Huskies Hockey program at UConn, Goldberg thinks that players often have trouble communicating with teammates, controlling their temper, or motivating themselves to exercise. They can become anxious or lose focus during competitions, which may lead them to choke at key times.

Big teams can fall prey to these issues as well. The Toronto Maple Leafs’ former coach, Ron Wilson, accused hockey-forward Phil Kessel of being emotionally and physically inconsistent, crippling his performance and hurting his relationships with teammates.

According to Goldberg, sport psychologists focus on helping players enhance performance, cope with pressures of competition, recover from injuries, and keep up exercise routines. But players are more than the sport that they play.

Media scrutiny of players’ behavior, strain on personal relationships from frequent travel, public criticism of their performance, and intensive training regimes can all take a toll on physical and mental health. The problem is, these issues are rarely addressed by sports psychologists.

Treating depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, which are the most common mental illnesses among hockey players, is not in the job description of sport psychologists or exercise professionals hired to work with athletes. Instead, the focus of both athletes and support staff, is on winning. According to Goldberg:

“The overall goal of the sport psychology professional is to enhance the player’s game on the ice. To make them a better teammate and a better performer who can win games and championships.”

And the work schedules of professional athletes—including travel and time away from home—make it hard for them to seek out psychotherapy with psychologists outside the team. As a result, they are left with no access to care.

The mental health programs that do exist, such as the NHL’s Substance Abuse and Behavioural Health Program which help players cope with the use of performance-enhancing drugs, still focus more on the sport than on athletes’ lives. Yet newer initiatives like Hockey Talks have shown more promise.

Giving fans, players, and coaches a chance to voice their thoughts on all forms of mental illness and remove the stigma of professional athletes experiencing mental health problems can be exactly the push professional sports associations need to start providing athletes with the care they require.

Only by realizing that athletes have lives and cares outside of their professional sports can we begin to address mental health needs holistically.

– Veerpal Bambrah, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report 

– Chief Editor, Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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Killing the American Hero, Killing the Fair Trial

00Attention, Featured news, Health, Law and Crime, Media, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, Psychopathy April, 16

Source: Quadraro on DeviantArt

Was he “insane” or not? That is the question jury members in Erath County, Texas addressed, on February 25th, 2015, during three hours of deliberation in the Eddie Ray Routh case.

Routh, a veteran of the Iraq war, was convicted of murder after he shot two fellow veterans, Chad Littlefield and Chris Kyle, who was famously known as the most prolific sniper in American history and whose memoir inspired the blockbuster film, American Sniper. Kyle, who worked to help veterans cope with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), was asked by Routh’s mother to see if there was anything he could do for her son. When Routh, Littlefield, and Kyle went to a shooting range—a routine practice used by Kyle to help veterans ‘blow off steam’—Routh opened fire, killing both men.

Routh’s defence lawyers pursued an insanity plea, citing a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia as the reason for his actions.

According to section 8.01a of the Penal Code of Texas, an individual may successfully plea not guilty by reason of insanity if evidence proves that at the time of the incident, the accused, as a result of “severe mental disease, did not know that his conduct was wrong.” Citing a police interrogation that took place after the incident—not before, as outlined by law—where Routh answered that he knew what he did was wrong, prosecutors argued that the defense was invalid. The jury agreed, and Eddie Ray Routh was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole.

Decisions in so-called insanity cases are often controversial. Routh’s case calls into question the legal system’s impartiality and treatment of mental health issues, in particular.

The case was widely publicized for its duration, which coincided with the release of American Sniper. The film was highly acclaimed and portrayed Chris Kyle as a hero, especially for the townspeople in Erath County. Typically, when a jury from a particular area is likely to be biased, it is common practice for defense lawyers to move the trial outside the district in which the crime was committed. In Routh’s case, this motion was denied, despite some jurors even admitting to having seen American Sniper before making their decision.

In addition to lacking impartiality, the Texas court also failed to properly account for Routh’s mental health.

Routh was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia by a psychiatrist prior to the incident at the shooting range. His medication was found when police raided his home. According to Routh’s family and friends, he had also experienced episodes of aggression, irritability, suicidal thoughts and attempts, and psychotic episodes. These episodes consisted of extremely erratic delusions ranging from vampires and werewolves, to him believing he was God and Satan.

But the insanity exclusion in Texas does not take a holistic view of an individual, instead using narrow and limiting language to define insanity. While Routh may have agreed that his actions were wrong after the event, there is no way to know what he was experiencing throughout. And if his previous psychotic episodes are representative, he may have been psychologically removed from reality at the time of his actions, possibly believing he was acting to save his own life.

Some argue that Routh and others like him should still be held responsible for their actions, despite their mental health problems. But, what many do not understand, is that being found not guilty by reason of insanity does not mean the individual walks free. In many cases, such a verdict could lead to extremely long detention in a psychiatric institution, where individuals are kept under close watch as they undergo treatment for their disorder.

In refusing to accept Eddie Ray Routh’s insanity plea, the Texas legal system is doing more than just punishing an individual who may not have been aware of his own actions, they are also denying treatment to a seriously ill person. At this rate, many mentally ill individuals will continue to be punished for actions they did not intend or understand, never receiving treatment and never having a chance to recover.

For more details about the Not Criminally Responsible Defense (as it is known in Canada), see our article entitled Myth Busting the Not Criminally Responsible Defence.

– Alessandro Perri, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery Ignores Women’s Mental Health

Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery Ignores Women’s Mental Health

00Body Image, Ethics and Morality, Featured news, Gender, Health, Media, Self-Esteem October, 15

Source: summerbl4ck/Flickr

“I just thought I was so different from everyone else that I wanted my vagina to be changed,” said 21-year-old, Rosie, during her interview for The Perfect Vagina, a 2008 documentary on vaginal reconstructive surgery.

Rosie received a labiaplasty to remove the skin of her labia minora (internal genitalia). While the operation is relatively simple, the risks include bleeding, infection, permanent scarring, nerve damage, and a painful three-month recovery.

David Matlock, a cosmetic surgeon and director of the Los Angeles Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute pioneered the vaginal surgery market in Los Angeles. He claims he can create “the perfect vagina,” a promise that brings in about 12 million (USD) a year.

But researchers at the UCLA Center for the Study of Women believe the concept of a “perfect vagina” arises from consistent exposure to homogenous images of women’s genitalia.  Pornography, medical textbooks, and sex shops show a similar vagina that is pink, hairless, with only the labia majora (external genitalia) visible.  Even the popular women’s health and sexuality book Our Bodies Ourselves shows only one image of the vagina.  Yet, the appearance of the healthy vagina is highly variable.

Why are more women opting for vaginal reconstructive surgery?  John R. Miklos, director of Urogynecology and Reconstructive Vaginal Surgery at the Atlanta Medical Center, found that most of his patients (on average 35 years of age) pursue the labiaplasty to improve sexual function, or to reduce pain during intercourse.

Other reasons for labiaplasty include alleviating discomfort from clothing or exercise, pressure from male or female sexual partners, reducing shame from having large labia minora, and boosting self-esteem.  And many labiaplasty patients are dissatisfied with the appearance of their genitalia and have lower sexual satisfaction.

Cosmetic surgeons state that women have the right to make decisions about their bodies. The American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery reported that women are the highest consumers of cosmetic surgery. In 2013, they accounted for 80% of all surgical (rhinoplasty, chin implants) and non-surgical procedures (BOTOX).

But many researchers take issue with that idea, arguing that vaginal cosmetic surgery patients often struggle with mental health.

Labiaplasty becomes problematic when young girls and women are looking for a self-esteem boost, as the surgery does not necessarily result in a positive outcome.  And for women struggling with low self-esteem, when one body part gets “fixed,” the dissatisfaction may shift rapidly to another.  This ongoing pursuit may be reflected in depression, anxiety, and even plastic surgery addiction.

However, Bruce Allan, an obstetrician-gynecologist from Calgary, Alberta, considers his patients to be very “well-adjusted people,” stating that a woman getting a labiaplasty is the same as a bald man getting a hair transplant.

Scientists at the Centre for Appearance Research at the University of the West of England have developed a psychological screening tool for all cosmetic surgery patients.  And specifically for labiaplasty candidates, there is the genital appearance satisfaction scale.

According to The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, psychological evaluations are not a mandatory procedure. Yet, most cosmetic surgeons are aware of body dysmorphic disorder, a chronic psychological illness characterized by obsessive, negative thoughts about one’s body and real or imagined flaws in physical appearance.  If patients opting for this surgery are doing so because they are suffering from a mental illness, one may ask whether it is indeed ethical to proceed?

Cosmetic surgeons would do well to consider the patient’s age when it comes to vaginal reconstructive surgery.  Young girls may prioritize a “quick fix” without understanding the surgery’s invasiveness.

And with adequate training to administer psychological screening tools, cosmetic surgeons could identify which patients should speak to a mental health professional before signing up for a labiaplasty.

Perhaps labiaplasty candidates can be given the opportunity to consider taking another route to address underlying body image dissatisfaction.  Patients might be better off if their doctors started tackling the problem from the top-down.

– Shira Yufe, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

Media Fail to Respect Crime Victims

Media Fail to Respect Crime Victims

00Ethics and Morality, Featured news, Law and Crime, Media, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Trauma August, 15

Source: Kurt Bauschardt/Flickr

Pickton, Gein, Dahmer, Bundy. Few of us forget these names; names belonging to four infamous serial killers who shocked the world.

But the names Andrea Joesbury, Bernice Worden, Steven Tuomi, and Lisa Yates belong to the killers’ victims.  All were tortured, raped, and killed.

Unlike their murderers, they were not awarded Wikipedia pages.  They do not have Hollywood-made biographies.  And they do not have a place in the minds and memories of the public.

With so much news vying for attention, the need to sensationalize stories has grown, making the media complicit in the way we think of and remember heinous acts.  We read “Gunman Kills Six” instead of “How Poverty and Desperation Breed Crime.”

The need to shift media attention away from criminals is more than just a matter of principle.  While most suicides go unpublicized because psychologists have discovered that media coverage breeds imitation, the same findings have been shown to apply to the reporting of violent offenses. Yet media coverage of such crimes is still extensive enough to inspire new killers on a regular basis, giving the incentive of fame and profit from publicity.

In the U.S., the Son of Sam Law was passed following a 1977 murder trial, where it was ruled that any proceeds garnered by criminals for publicizing their crimes would be seized and turned over to victims.  A recent amendment has extended this legislation to not-criminally-responsible rulings as well.  Yet with crimes and the publicity they earn transcending borders and regulations, this is increasingly difficult to enforce.

The last few years have seen “popular” criminals earning fame and fortune through grisly deeds.  In 2007 in Japan, a man murdered Lindsay Ann Hawker, an English teacher, avoiding capture for several years.  His story became a hot topic for media speculators, earning him quasi-celebrity status.  Other killers who were acquitted on technicalities or due to legal loopholes also went on to turn profits from books, TV appearances, and years of controversial media exposure.

At times, the media create the very controversy they exploit.  This is especially true of crime reporting, where the focus is slanted to include graphic details of events and frightening images of suspected criminals.  The longer a manhunt or trial continues, the more attention the media are able to gain from what would otherwise be a single story.  It is this persistent coverage that creates a painful, damaging atmosphere for victims.

Psychologists agree that being re-traumatized by overwhelming life experiences can lead to difficulty with recovery.  Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can become aggravated when survivors are repeatedly reminded of painful private events in an exposing public context.  As a result, experts recommend that families and victims recovering from crime avoid contact with the media by minimizing their viewing of the news until they regain a sense of personal safety and stability.

Unfortunately, advice like that can be next to impossible to follow when a single Google search can return millions of hits for killers’ names.  When TV stations spend years showing photos of terrorists and their attacks.  And when headlines across the globe follow murderers who drag out court cases for years by slowly admitting to more crimes.

At the same time, the media can turn on the victims themselves. Reporters often hound victims of high-profile crimes, starting out benevolently, but becoming doggedly persistent if ignored.  Yet there is no formal protection from either the harassment of reporters or the reports themselves.

Legislation exists to curb the reporting of suicides.  But there is none to oversee the press when it comes to publicizing crimes or dealing with criminals and victims.

Organizations like Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting are doing their best to stop sensationalistic journalism.  But until a fundamental change occurs in legislation or the public’s appetite for detail, victims will continue to be victimized further by the media.

– Nick Zabara, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

Social Media Cannot Fix ‘Being Alone’…Nor Should It

Social Media Cannot Fix ‘Being Alone’…Nor Should It

00Featured news, Friends, Media, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Social Networking May, 15

Source: Federico Morando/Flickr

As Facebook turned eleven this past February, I became acutely aware of my various virtual connections. I can tweet about what I am having for breakfast, or post a photo of my cereal to Instagram, and so on.

But is being virtually connected an effective way of interacting with others? Gary Turk, writer and director of “Look Up,” a short film that went viral over this past weekenddoesn’t think so.

According to Michelle Drouin, a professor of psychology at Purdue University, people use technology for different reasons. For example, individuals with secure attachment – those who are able to maintain trusting relationships and possess a good sense of self – tend to use text messaging to arrange meetings and check in, but save personal conversations for face-to-face contact. But those with insecure attachment styles are more likely to use texting for reassurance or the creation of artificial distance in relationships.

Sherry Turkle, M.I.T. professor and psychologist, characterizes the problem as one of not knowing how to be alone. To manage that fear, we seek to connect virtually, yet we are also afraid of real intimacy and use social media and technology to control how we connect. She refers to this “edited version” of a real conversation as the Goldilocks effect –having not too much, not too little, but a just-right amount of comfortable contact with others.

But, edited controlled conversations can lead to a lack of empathy. Since we cannot see our friends’ reactions we are unsure if our true intention was received. And, we cannot always read the emotion or tone of a comment and can overreact or become anxious over varying interpretations. The comedian Louis C.K. notes this impact on empathy as the reason he will never get his daughter a cell phone. He also thinks we use our cell-phones and social media accounts to avoid uncomfortable situations or deep emotions.

When we experience this “half-communication” with family or friends, we are left feeling unheard and lonelier than before.

The mere presence of a mobile phone in a room during a conversation reduces the feeling of closeness and connection between individuals, say Andrew Przybylski and Netta Weinstein, psychologists and professors at the University of Essex. The presence of the phone reminds us of our social network, other connections we could be making, and divides our attention. This same divided attention creates the feeling of not being heard, so we feel less certain of our ability to trust or connect with the other person.

Louis C.K. thinks what we really need is to turn the phone off and re-connect with ourselves. Being virtually connected is not the same as true connection.

As noted, Turkle considers the driving force of the Goldilocks effect as the fear of being alone. To improve our connection with others, what we need to learn is how to be fully present, and to be fully present, we first have to be able to sit with being alone.

The ability to be alone, to be in “solitude,” is not necessarily the same as being lonely.

Some benefits of solitude include being free of the scrutiny of others, allowing for more self-expression and creativity, time spent in self-reflection, and time to re-charge and renew.

Turkle thinks that time alone in conversation with oneself builds the skills necessary to engage in conversation with others. She is not against technology, but does think we need to find a balance and rethink how we are using technology. Drouin’s research does not fault the media. If not Facebook or Twitter, we would find other means to control how we interact and avoid the scary aspects of aloneness and intimacy.

There is increasing support for the idea that we need to re-balance. Social media is not a cure for loneliness.

But if I find that posts and tweets are leaving me wanting, then it is up to me to contact my friends and family to engage in more meaningful communication.

– Heather Carter-Simmons, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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Why Does Anyone Love Men Who Won’t Love Back?

10Anxiety, Attachment, Bias, Featured news, Health, Media, Relationships, Sex February, 15

Source: conrado/Shutterstock

You’ve seen the character a thousand times—the mysteriously sexy male protagonist. The lone wolf.

He saunters into women’s lives, gives them a wink, and they trip over themselves to gain his affections. Little do they know, he is incapable of such basic inclinations as love, having in fact buried his emotions years ago in the corners of his cold heart. Naturally, he becomes even more desirable, and the women who were tripping over themselves before, are now desperately crawling after him. This cannot last forever, and the lone wolf must leave. And so he does, leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake.

The plot has appeared in many Hollywood movies, from classic westerns to gangster films to the James Bond series. Even romantic comedies have jumped on the bandwagon, with jaded, rejecting players who finally meet “the one” and struggle to learn how to love.

50 Shades of Grey, the film based on the novel about a fictional BDSM relationship, just hit theaters. Anastasia, the female protagonist, is portrayed as a normal, healthy young woman, while Christian Grey is the king of lone wolves—though presumably all lone wolves are the de facto kings of their prides.

Christian Grey has all the typical trappings of the tall, dark, and mysterious stranger. He refuses any type of romantic relationship, claiming to not be a “flowers and romance kind of guy.” He forbids Anastasia from touching him or even making eye contact during sex. Though we may shake our heads and claim we would never endorse such a relationship, the book series has sold over 100 million copies worldwide.

A quick perusal of most fan-generated lists of the sexiest fictional male characters reveals our obsession with solitary, rejecting men—James Bond, Indiana Jones, George Clooney in pretty much anything, Batman, Edward Cullen (whose heart is literally dead)—and the list goes on.

We love characters who can’t love us back. Though there are slight differences, the Christian Greys and James Bonds of the world are strikingly reminiscent of the dismissive-avoidant attachment style.

Briefly: The dismissive-avoidant style is characterized by discomfort with intimacy or feelings of vulnerability. Being emotional or dependent, for such people, is equated with weakness. Hollywood has ensured that we find this type of character irresistible. It’s hard to find a movie that doesn’t frame the solitary male as desirable. By the same token, it’s rare to find a “clingy” (or anxiously-attached) character portrayed in a positive light.

Of course fiction is fiction, but pop culture permeates our norms. It’s hard to ignore the influence on our vocabulary and perceptions of self and other. Who doesn’t secretly want to be as cool as James Bond? As nonchalant as Don Draper? Or, for that matter, as flippant as the avoidant Mary Crawley of “Downton Abbey”? Nobody wants to be the clingy ex-girlfriend or the nagging mother-in-law.

So why do dismissive-avoidant types get all the screen time, portrayed as the coolest-of-the-cool while the anxiously attached are stereotyped as clingy and annoying? Is being stoic and rejecting really better than seeking too much affection?

It’s important to draw a distinction between what actual dismissive-avoidant individuals are like and Hollywood’s portrayal of them. It’s not that being dismissing-avoidance gives you physical agility, a six-figure salary, or an arsenal of quippy pick-up lines. More likely, you would have frustrating intimate relationships, a higher likelihood of mental health difficulties, and an underlying anxiety kept at bay by defensiveness. Films often portray such individuals without the negative aspects we would more clearly see in real life.

So why continue to portray dismissive-avoidance in such glowing terms?

It sells.

Imagine if, in the first James Bond film, Agent 007 had settled down with Honey Ryder in a gated community with two kids and a dog. There would hardly be a chance for a 25-film franchise. To keep milking the character, he must never be tied down. The character rarely changes. And the producers hit “reset” when they start creating the next film.

Although 50 Shades of Grey is far from the main culprit, it is symptomatic of our masochistic submission to dismissive-avoidant characters.

But I suppose there are worse ways to spend an evening out.

Guest Writer: Aviva Philipp-Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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For Families Touched by Homicide, the Media Prolongs Pain

00Featured news, Grief, Health, Law and Crime, Media, Memory, Parenting, Resilience, Stress, Trauma October, 14

On January 1st, 2008, fourteen year old Stefanie Rengel was murdered a few meters outside of her Toronto home.

After receiving a mysterious phone call from someone she believed may have been a friend, Stefanie put on her shoes, told her younger brother that she would be right back, and ran out the door. She never returned.

Leading a normal life one day, and suddenly being thrust into the inevitable bureaucracy that follows a murder is excruciating for families affected by homicide.

The Trauma & Mental Health Report had the chance to speak with Stefanie’s mother, police officer Patricia Hung, who discusses how media involvement and court proceedings sometimes prolonged the healing after her teenage daughter’s murder. She also commented on support available for bereaved parents.

Patricia: Trying to get justice for Stefanie, in some ways… it kept her alive. It gave us something to focus on. I don’t know if that prolonged the grieving, but it certainly spread it out. When a child dies in a car accident, and there are no reporters or trial, you have no choice but to deal with it all right then. For us, we dealt with it a little at a time.

For families affected by homicide, the grief is drawn out. The media, bail hearings, preliminary trials, adjournments, mental health assessments, impact statements, perhaps a trial and hopefully a sentencing, all act as constant reminders of the tragedy. Prolonged investigations and legal processes have these families re-living the trauma of what happened to their loved ones.

Patricia: The day after Stefanie died the reporters were there –it was terrible– it felt like an attack, when all we wanted was privacy. They would come to our door at all hours of the day and night. They would go to my children’s schools and would piece together a false relationship between Stefanie and her killer.

Following a high profile murder case, reporters can unwittingly create chaos for families. The constant questioning, often well intentioned, can turn into intrusive and harmful reminders of the trauma.

Patricia: In the beginning, the press is really friendly to you because they want the gory details and all the juicy information. If you say one wrong word, they can turn on you [for a story]. The last thing grieving families need is to feel tried in the newspapers.

Unfortunately, most bereaved parents aren’t sure what it is they need right after their child’s death. They often feel as though no stranger is going to be able to help them and are unaware of how important it is to reach out for help.

Victim Crisis Assistance and Referral Services (VCARS) is a Canadian charitable service, with 48 sites in Ontario alone that provide immediate on-site assistance to victims affected by tragedy. Bereaved families can use victim services at any point during their recovery even if they initially decline assistance. Victim services offer a variety of support programs for long term assistance and can even help families deal with the media.

Patricia: Being a police officer and having to go through the legal system, I realized how scary it must be for other families who have absolutely no idea what to expect. So to those families who are feeling lost and overwhelmed, know that someone from victim services can be taking notes for you at the preliminary trial, someone can guide you while preparing for your impact statement, and can sit with you during trial.

One of the great difficulties at trial for bereaved parents is informing the judge or jury on how their child’s death affected their life. Impact statements can help determine the offender’s sentence, and parents feel the pressure; victim services help families write these. 

Patricia: Testifying and giving an impact statement was very difficult. I was trying to make sure that I wouldn’t mess it up. You’re so worried that if you say something wrong it could screw everything up. 

And adding to the heartache: 

Patricia: There are things that you don’t expect to happen that do. When I was at court, I went to the washroom and the accused’s mother was in there. It was just so hard. At the time, it wasn’t me against her. I actually felt quite sorry for her… it was a whirlwind of emotions.

Trial is very draining for families. Not only do they hear details of the child’s death, but also the accused is just feet away. Having external support such as VCARS ensures that bereaved families are aware of what steps they need to take and provides comfort at a time when family ties can become strained. 

Once a verdict is made, bereaved families still have much to deal with. Grieving the loss of a child never really ends. As time passes, families fill their lives with new memories and the moments of grief become more intermittent.

But of course, as parole hearings approach, families have to face the trauma of losing their child all over again.

– Contributing Writer: Tessie Mastorakos, The Trauma and Mental Health Report 

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

 Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today