Category: Marriage

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Domestic Abuse Linked to Financial Crisis

00Domestic Violence, Featured news, Health, Marriage, Psychopathy, Relationships, Stress June, 18

Source: isabellaquintana at pixabay, Creative Commons

Self-reported spousal violence has declined in most Canadian provinces over the past ten years, according to Statistics Canada. But an increase in domestic violence calls to the police in the province of Alberta was reported for 2016 by The Globe and Mail. The increase occurred concurrently with the loss of thousands of jobs in the mining and oil industries.

This connection has also been established in other countries. During the financial collapse in Greece, the Greek police reported a 53.9% increase in family violence in 2011 from before the crisis in 2008. Additionally, when sociologist Claire Renzetti and colleague reviewed research in the United States, they found evidence of a relationship between economic stresses and domestic abuse.

Another study of American households indicates that intimate partner violence occurs at disproportionate rates among impoverished groups of women. The World Health Organization states that 13-61% of women worldwide recount experiencing physical violence from a partner at some point in their lifetime, and that poverty is a risk factor.

In an interview with the Trauma and Mental Health Report, Barbara MacQuarrie, the community director of the Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children at Western University, described the link:

“At the heart of domestic violence is a dynamic of power and control, where one person feels they have the right to control another. When one loses control over their finances, they may attempt to regain that control by controlling their spouse through physical violence and other abusive tactics.”

Awareness of how financial stressors affect violent behaviour becomes important during times of financial hardship, such as economic recessions. Although macro research on the influence of economic crises on domestic violence is limited, the findings in Alberta, Greece, and the United States are telling. There are also personal accounts of spousal aggression surrounding financial problems.

Anne (name changed for anonymity), a survivor of domestic violence, recounted her experience to the Trauma and Mental Health Report. She recalled financial struggles preceding violent episodes from her previously non-violent husband.

In 1991, Anne moved from Russia to Canada to join her husband Jonathan (name changed). This move coincided with a severe recession beginning in the early ’90s. Johnathan’s wages were cut in half, to the detriment of the family. A once promising future was now out of reach. In Anne’s words:

“I needed to work to help ends meet. Because I took care of our children and household during the day, I had to work at night. I cleaned at a corporate office for minimum wage, so money was tight. “

Months after the move to Canada, arguments became heated, and he became more aggressive, at one point, pushing her hard enough that she hit her head against concrete, and fell unconscious. Anne believes that their financial stresses brought out another side of Jonathan that led him to become both physically and emotionally abusive. She decided to leave, but was afraid for her life and the safety of her children if she did.

“He was supposed to be my partner, but instead of my being able to go to him for help or support, I feared him. “

Women who are survivors of domestic violence are right to feel afraid. The Canadian Women’s Foundation reports that 26% of women killed by their spouse are killed after they leave the relationship, and women are six times more likely to be murdered by an ex-partner than a current partner. Nonetheless, with proper planning and support, women can safely leave a violent situation. Anne said:

“When Jonathan left on a work-related trip, I took the children with me to a women’s shelter. It was highly secure, padlocks on every door, and a security guard at the main entrance. Eventually we moved into an apartment.”

Anne and her children now live safely. She encourages those who are facing potential domestic violence to seek help immediately, especially as warning signs increase. Barbara MacQuarrie explains that more than one risk factor in the perpetrator increases the chances of violence:

“Unemployment is a very significant risk factor, especially if it’s present with other factors, such as the perpetrator having experienced abuse as a child or witnessed domestic violence.”

–Anika Rak, Contributing Writer, The Trauma and Mental Health Report.

–Chief Editor: Robert T. MullerThe Trauma and Mental Health Report.

Copyright Robert T. Muller.

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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Virginity Tests Place Physicians in Quandary

00Embarrassment, Ethics and Morality, Featured news, Gender, Marriage, Parenting, Religion, Trauma January, 15

In October of 2013, the College of Physicians in Quebec, Canada, ordered doctors to stop performing virginity tests on women.

Remarkably, it took a formal directive from a governing agency to stop the degrading practice. Over the 18 months preceding the announcement, there were five reports in Quebec alone of requests for virginity tests. But physicians note that the tests are actually a hidden taboo practice occurring at a very high frequency.

Requests are often made by a woman’s family, seeking to fulfil traditional requirements of providing proof of ‘innocence’ for marriage. Physicians are actively pressured by families to conduct these tests and sign certificates for review by both families, putting doctors in a moral quandary: refusing to perform the test or giving a negative result can dishonour a woman in the eyes of her family, but going along with the procedure represents collusion.

Practiced all over the world, virginity tests are a longstanding tradition. Many African nations uphold the custom, purportedly as a means of controlling AIDS by checking which women are ‘safe’ to marry. But tests do not definitively determine the presence of HIV or AIDS as it is possible for people to become infected through other means—sharing needles or from parents.

And the test is highly subjective. In addition to many women being born with negligible hymens, stressful activities and even tampons can lead to ‘loss of virginity’. Other versions of the test, such as checking for overall laxity of the vagina, are painful and embarrassing.

In 2011, women attending protests in Egypt were rounded up and subjected to virginity tests and other forms of sexual assault and humiliation by police and armed forces. In Indonesia, high-school officials are considering implementing virginity tests as a way of controlling student behaviour and encouraging chastity. In Iraq, virginity tests are regularly ordered by the courts, whereupon husbands can sue their wives and their families for damages and dissolution of marriage. And in India, not only is it common practice to put brides-to-be through the procedure, but even rape victims are subjected, which, if they fail, may mean shunning by families and others.

In Canada, requests for virginity tests have come from parents concerned about daughters’ choices, as well as from educated professionals afraid of disappointing husbands-to-be. While it may seem a relief that the procedure now has been deemed outside the scope of physician practice, pressure remains in some communities, leading many physicians to give out fake ‘virginity certificates,’ to placate families and protect the privacy and dignity of the women in question.

As witnessed by Canadians just over two years ago, traditions like these can escalate with tragic consequences. In June of 2009, Mohammad Shafia, reportedly incensed at his ex-wife’s and daughters’ behaviours, engaged the help of his new wife and son in brutally murdering the four women. Known as honour killing, this practice views women as male property. Similar beliefs hold female chastity and obedience in high regard, with violations of cultural norms being equated with treason, to be cleansed only through death.

In Montreal, Quebec, it was recently discovered that hymenoplasties—surgeries which artificially recreate the hymen so as to cause bleeding during intercourse—have become the second-most popular plastic surgery. Alarmingly, private medical organizations have stepped up and begun offering secret, cash-paid procedures for several thousand dollars to interested parties.

It is hard for physicians to agree on the moral dilemma of virginity testing. One televised discussion shows some doctors stressing the inaccuracy of virginity tests, and how the inherent pain and humiliation associated with them is enough to justify abolishing them entirely. In contrast, Rachel Ross, physician and sexologist, points out that virginity tests can be useful in criminal cases involving children to determine whether sexual abuse took place.

The biggest quandary facing physicians is whether to let virginity tests and hymenoplasties be available to the public. The reasoning behind both has been examined extensively by medical ethicist Marie-Eve Bouthillier, who explains that banning these procedures may seem like the best step to end these women’s pain and humiliation, but it may also subject them to violent retribution or even more demeaning tests conducted by family members or religious leaders.

Conversely, Bouthillier states that “sometimes the virginity certificate will be the ticket for a forced marriage,” meaning that physicians who perform the tests or even give false results may still be condemning these women to a life of suffering.

A difficult choice indeed. Right where the paths of medicine, ethics, and culture collide.

Contributing Writer: Nick Zabara, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

Photo Credit:<a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/proimos/6869336880/“>Alex E. Proimos</a>

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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When You’re Gone: Deployment Effects On Parenting

00Anger, Attachment, Empathy, Featured news, Happiness, Marriage, Parenting, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Stress January, 15

Deployment

“It’s hard, but I think it must be harder for my husband, being away for so long. He missed a lot of firsts when the girls were babies. Thankfully, between deployments he got to see with one, the things he missed with the other.”

Blair Johnson, mother of two, Mackenzie age 5, and Macey age 2, has experienced firsthand the hardships of having a spouse away on deployment, as her husband Nathan, an American marine, has spent half of their marriage overseas and in training.

Deployment, the movement of troops overseas for military action, is a reality for many families in the U.S. and Canada. The American military is deployed in more than 150 countries around the world, with the majority of troops in combat zones.

Deployed soldiers often face great emotional strain as they are forced to separate from their spouses and children. The separation, distance, and heartache make parenting in these families an enormous challenge. Children, who tend to be most sensitive to changes within the family, may react strongly.

“For me, it has been harder with my older daughter during Nathan’s most recent deployment. Since she is such a Daddy’s girl, she acted out a lot in trying to deal with her father being away. She would give me a hard time, almost like she thought I could control whether or not her Dad was home.”

Amy Drummet, a researcher at the University of Missouri explains that military families experience stress at three main junctions: relocation, separation, and reunion. As Blair recalls, separations bring on feelings of parental inadequacy and guilt. “It’s the feeling that I can’t give my girls everything they need when it’s just me; they miss their Dad and I can’t do anything to bring him home.”

To complicate matters, the return home can be just as problematic. “The last time he came back was different than the previous ones. It took a lot longer for everything to return to normal. Jumping back into the role of a full-time father was harder for him.”

One in every five soldiers returning home from Iraq or Afghanistan may suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This prevalence makes it difficult for the returning parent to carry on normal parenting responsibilities. “When Nathan returned, he was very jumpy, angry, and agitated with every loud sound he heard. He would constantly reach for his gun even though he didn’t even have it once he returned home. He had to learn to let go of the defense mode he was used to.”

Coming home presents many obstacles the family must overcome in order to settle back into a normal and familiar way of living. Apart from the joy of having one’s partner return home, there is plenty of work that must be done to adapt to previous family roles.

“The girls hold a lot of anger towards me after he is home and it is heart breaking; they don’t want anything to do with me for the most part. Since I am the main disciplinarian the majority of the time, they see him as the good guy. They want to spend every moment with him when he is around, because they just miss him so much when he’s gone.”

“I have been blessed to have parents with whom we can stay during his deployments. For us, it helped a bit in filling the void of Daddy being gone. We take advantage of the time we can spend together, so all the family can be a part in their lives,” says Blair.

Military children are especially vulnerable during a deployment due to separation from their parent, a perceived sense of danger, and an increased sense of uncertainty. “I asked Mackenzie what she thought Daddy was doing when he is deployed and she said, ‘he is working…and fighting the bad guys.’”

Despite the difficulties, Blair insists that there are good aspects to deployment, “You have to make a choice to either let it affect you in a bad way or a good one. You can use that time to grow closer instead of growing distant. It is all a matter of choice. I believe something good can come from any situation, no matter how terrible it is. It makes you a stronger person and it helps you realize just how much you can handle.”

Deployment drastically affects family life. While it requires all family members to readjust, children, who are more prone to being agitated by their changing circumstances, may find it harder to cope. As parents battle their own issues and uncertainties, they may unintentionally miss signs that their children need them.

So deployment may have an effect on the attachment with not only the deployed parent, but also with the parent who stays behind. The confusion and uncertainty experienced by children should be treated with love and understanding, while maintaining their normal routine.

“Parents have their bad days, but it’s important to cry, let it all out, and then move on. Happiness is an everyday choice, and choosing it doesn’t mean you miss your spouse any less.”

– Contributing Writer: Noam Bin Noon, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

 – Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

 Copyright Robert T. Muller

 Photo Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/dvids/3522556401/

This article was originally published on Psychology Today

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Acid Attacks: The New Gender Terrorism

00Dreaming, Ethics and Morality, Fear, Featured news, Gender, Law and Crime, Marriage, Parenting, Punishment, Resilience, Trauma September, 14

With her head bent down staring at the floor, saliva running down her chin, a woman is unable to lift her head or close her mouth. Acid has melted her skin.

An estimated 1500 people per year are victims of acid attacks; 80 percent of whom are female and 40 percent are under the age of 18. Although acid attacks are becoming increasingly common in countries such as India, Cambodia and Afghanistan, they occur more in Bangladesh than anywhere else in the world.

 About 60 cents a bottle, acid (hydrochloric, nitric or sulfuric) has become the weapon of choice against women in countries where their rights are still limited.

 In November 2012, the BBC reported a story about a 15-year old girl, attacked by her own parents because she turned her head to look at a boy passing on a motorcycle. Claiming that she “dishonoured her family,” the parents together beat her and then poured acid over her. After two days without being taken to a hospital, the young girl died of her injuries.

 Rarely resulting in death, the horror of the attacks is nevertheless striking. Within seconds, the acid melts skin, fat, muscle and sometimes bone. Women may be left blind, some with sealed nostrils, shriveled ears and damage to their airway from inhaling the fumes. In time, formed scar tissue tightens and pulls what is left on the face and neck, causing intense physical pain and discomfort.

 Why do the attacks occur? Most show a common theme: a woman stepping out of her subordinate gender role thereby causing dishonour to her husband or family. Choices many of us make without thinking, such as rejecting a marriage proposal or a sexual advance, are enough to instigate an attack.

The violent act is a threatening message not only to the victim, but to women in general, leaving many in a permanent state of fear.

 Victims are left permanently disfigured, socially isolated, and emotionally scarred. With the end results so extreme, some have called for punishment of death for those who inflict this on others. Yet in most cases, the perpetrator is left to carry on as if nothing happened. Laws have been passed with jail sentences as high as 14-years. But inefficiencies and corruption within the legal systems where these attacks occur mean that fewer than 10 percent of cases make it to court.

Many human rights agencies have advocated banning the sale of acid to decrease its availability. But for those who are motivated, acid can be found; many attackers are now using the inside contents of car batteries.

Sital Kalantry, the Cornell international human rights clinical director has called the phenomenon a form of “gender terrorism.” Unless women are able to step into a role of equality of rights and freedoms, the problem will persist.

Worldwide, many are taking action to raise awareness, provide treatment and ease pain. The 2012 Oscar award winning documentary Saving Face, tells the stories of Pakistani women who were victims of acid attacks, and follows them through their fight for justice, through their battle to get their lives back.

Featured in the film is British plastic surgeon Mohammad Jawad who has devoted countless hours to reconstructing the faces and bodies of women damaged by acid. He is one of many who have donated their time to try and heal these women.

The Acid Survivors Foundation, established in 1999, is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping women find a place again by connecting them with treatment and rehabilitation services offered by people such as Jawad.

Still, surgeons cannot repair everyone. For some already suffering from malnutrition, an acid attack can leave their skin almost fossilized, with scar tissue left to take over. For those who are able to undergo surgery, it can take over 20 procedures to restore basic functioning, a process unaffordable to many already living in poverty.

In addition to the physical damage, acid attacks inflict emotional damage and can destroy hopes and dreams. Uli Schmetzer, a Chicago Tribune foreign correspondent, told a story in 1999 of a 20-year old girl, Sufia, who became the victim of an acid attack meant for her sister who had turned down a marriage proposal. Having been accepted into university, Sufia had plans to become an agronomist; following the attack, she was likely to end up a beggar.

Often living as social pariahs following mutilation, these women are left with little hope. Seeing perpetrators get off without consequence, others are left to live in a state of fear that they will be next.

 – Contributing Writer: Crystal Slanzi, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

– Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma and Mental Health Report

Copyright Robert T. Muller

This article was originally published on Psychology Today